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31 August 2009 @ 11:55 am
A bit of H/D from my current sketch  
Oh yessss, H/D is so much fun!!




Now, if this entry caught your eyes and you still love H/D, good, then send your good heart to leochi, because I'm sure that you adore her beautiful H/D art just as I do!
Some people may not quite understand her reasoning of taking the outcome of lottery as an ultimate answer and why she took it so personal and felt so hurt or pissed off, but really, I can tell that artists are sensitive and vulnerable people more or less. As you already know, I myself got so emotional and paranoid over myself toward the fandom just a week ago.*--*;


On the other hand, honestly I'm surprised by the fact leochididn't get her spot in hd_holidays, because personally I had an impression that the mods are preoccupied to maintain the high standard of their participants and thus favor veterans or established authors/artists over the relatively unknown applicants. Now, eventually I found that the mods really did a fair, unbiased lottery among all the applicants, as I'm sure that the mods had secured her place for sure if they could choose the winners by their own discretion-- in addition to the fact that leochi is an established artist in H/D fandom, there were several sign-up entries which specifically called for watercolor art which she can fit in perfectly, making the pairing task easier for the mods. So, apparently it was *I* who was preoccupied by my own impression which was wrong, and I owe an apology for the mods for that matter; the hd_holidaysmods are doing their business very seriously and squarely, and I'm genuinely impressed.  Here's my hat off to the mods, wishing the best for the fair!:-)

Meanwhile, I understand that that fairness may hurt some people at the same time. I hope all those people who didn't win the lottery not to be discouraged and stay positive in fandom, but if you really, really feel piqued and want to share your frustration with someone, come to me and whine!  I'm ready to listen and give you a hug!(and remember-- you are still much more courageous than I, who was too freaked out to sign up in the first place!^^;)


ETA:  I highlighted my conclusion of the second paragraph in bold, as I got some comments as if I still doubt about the fairness of the selection process, which is quite contrary! =3
 
 
 
(Deleted comment)
YumeKutteIkt(YuKI): first comment cookieyumekutteikt on August 31st, 2009 06:45 pm (UTC)
Awwwwwww! I'm so sorry to hear that you couldn't make it either! *hugs*

Then hearing about your other plans...glad to know you are to move on, and wow, it will be really wonderful if my art inspired you!!:-D(it was in fact one of my Christmas wish for the last year!) Good luck!<3
Leochileochi on August 31st, 2009 12:29 pm (UTC)
Oh, my - you are such a "knight in shining armour" *squishes you hard*
Thank you so much for your lovely support. You really brought tears to my eyes and I feel deeply touched.

THANK YOU! <333

I owe you a pic if you want one - Just give me a prompt and I'll try to do my best for you. :D
Tarataradiane on August 31st, 2009 04:40 pm (UTC)
I really didn't want to get into this in a public post, but this is the second public post that I've seen regarding one person not getting into the fest via lottery draw. All I can say is that you and yumekutteikt are more than welcome to contact any of the mods to ask about the process.

The distinction about who had a reserved spot versus who would be put into the lottery was laid out in the original sign-up post, and is a process that was in place last year as well (in which, leochi, you were picked as part of that same random selection process).

Yumekutteikt, to give favor to leochi simply because of her art style would be just as unfair as excluding her because of her art style.

On the other hand, honestly I'm surprised by the fact leochi didn't get her spot in hd_holidays, because personally I had an impression that the mods are preoccupied to maintain the high standard of their participants and thus favor veterans or established authors/artists over the relatively unknown applicants.

Leochi didn't have a reserved spot because she has not participated more than twice. Veterans are not favored simply because they are veterans. There are veterans who have been disqualified because they dropped out last year (or multiple times before, as this fest has existed for several years now) and lost their reserved spot, therefore making room for another. We have 41% of participants this year who have never been in hd_holidays before, and we're proud of that - it's nearly half, which is more than we've ever had.

Leochi, I am very sorry that your feelings were so hurt by not being chosen in the lottery. I don't quite know what else to say. Damned if we do, damned if we don't, it seems. :/
Leochileochi on August 31st, 2009 05:02 pm (UTC)
It's completely OK. As I said, the lottery's outcome has settled it for me and I'm OK with it. I'm not doing H/D anymore -

I had vowed to myself to give it one more try after having stepped down for a while if I got into HD Hols because it's the only fest I had applied for. It's been a difficult decision to make, but I made it wholehartedly.

Given the small number of artists compared to the overwhelming number of writers (I've counted about twenty artists' names, but I can be mistaken, of course), I didn't expect they would be put in the same big group, because it seemed rather imbalanced. The chance of not getting in was far bigger for an artist, that way.

Fortune has chosen for me and that's it. No problems. Of course I was disappointed because it took me quite some energy and thoughts to give H/D one last try, which wasn't wise, as I can see now. I should have stuck to my old decision not to do this pairing anymore, after various things that happened and made me either unhappy or stressed out.

Yumekutteikt was only trying to be helpful and supportive and I felt very touched by her post, and personally I think she was very brave to do so, too. :)

But I am also truly sorry for the mods - your task is definitely a difficult one because you have to face the masses and you will always have to deal with unhappy people. Therefore you have my respect.
Tarataradiane on August 31st, 2009 05:30 pm (UTC)
It's not the number of artists versus writers, but rather the people who exclusively want art that matter more in this case. We happened to end up with a large number of people who said that either fic or art as a gift would make them happy, and so that was why we decided to lump everyone in together just as we've always done. If, say, we'd only had 10 people wanting art only and 10 artists sign up, then we would have had no choice but to use all artists even if they had a poor track record in the past of turning in assignments - a necessary risk in that case.

We had to make sure that we had enough artists to fill those requests from people who wanted only art, but did that as part of the bigger random selection process (if we had not met that commitment, we would have taken another route, but it worked out that we did since only a handful of people - I think it was 5 - exclusively wanted art).

I just wish that before people make assumptions about bias from the mods, that they would come to us first. This is how wank evolves, and feelings get hurt.

because personally I had an impression that the mods are preoccupied to maintain the high standard of their participants and thus favor veterans or established authors/artists over the relatively unknown applicants.

Being aware that those are yumekutteikt's words and not yours, if we had operated that way last year, you wouldn't have had a slot. I'm sure you can agree that that would have been unfair based on that requirement alone. New people come into fandom every day, just as others leave as you yourself are apparently doing.

Some of them are new artists who are able to participate this year as a result of the lottery draw, and I can't not be happy for that despite those who are disappointed at not getting in.

As far as I'm concerned, it's a non-issue at this point. I just wanted to voice our position on what has been made into a public issue.
Leochileochi on August 31st, 2009 05:34 pm (UTC)
Thank you.
YumeKutteIkt(YuKI): Hiro Mizushima Manipyumekutteikt on August 31st, 2009 09:49 pm (UTC)
Aww, thank you for the detailed explanation about the process. As I wrote in my previous comment, I have no doubt about nor any problem with the fairness and unbiasedness.

And I think that those who had made incorrect assumptions as I did have already amended their impression by now, as it is pretty much clear from the comments on this entry that the drawing was done all fairly and so a number of great authors didn't made it as well.:-)

Aww, your comment is so valued, and please take my late apology for causing extra stress and frustration to the mods because of this entry. It was inconsiderate of me.m(_ _)m
Tarataradiane on August 31st, 2009 10:35 pm (UTC)
And I think that those who had made incorrect assumptions as I did have already amended their impression by now, as it is pretty much clear from the comments on this entry that the drawing was done all fairly and so a number of great authors didn't made it as well.:-)

We try to make it as clear as we possibly can in the initial posting as to who will have a reserved slot and who won't. Typically the only confusion that surrounds that is from those who may have forgotten how many times they've participated in the past simply because of how long the fest has existed.

I can tell that artists are sensitive and vulnerable people more or less.

As are many writers. The medium may be different, but the creativity is the same.

As a writer myself who has been active in fandom for many years, I understand the desire to have your work recced and lauded and get upteen million comments on an entry. I think, however, there comes a point where if your only reason for creating your art/fic/whatever is more about upping your comment count than simply the art itself, one might want to rethink why they create in the first place. Are they doing it because they want to be popular? Or because they enjoy creating? The obsession over comment count is, to me, rather off-putting.

I see people all over fandom bust their ass but have fun with it, and not all of them are getting lavish accolades for their effort. Not all of them say they will withhold artwork unless they get 'x' number of comment - but what if they do? What if they get used to, say, 90 comments per entry? Are they going to start demanding 91?

Personally, comment count means shit to me. I've posted fics that, looking back, I think are wretched and yet they have more comments than those I think are quite good but went relatively ignored. But I would never let either situation dictate whether or not I keep writing, because that's not why I write. There are things that I've written that will never see the light of day, not because I think they're crap, but because they're just for me. Or maybe I wrote it for just one person, so they're the only one that I gave it to outside of my journal.

Point is, create what you want however you want to do it. If it's from the heart, if it's honest, it will speak for itself. No one needs a fest to do it for them. There's a reason why the phrase "trying too hard" has negative connotations.

P.S. I don't need you to apologize - it's a free country. I only speak for myself, but hd_holidays is something that I care about, especially since I didn't create it and am carrying the torch, so to speak. I just wanted my feelings on this issue known since it was brought out in the open.
YumeKutteIkt(YuKI): desized!Dracoyumekutteikt on September 4th, 2009 04:23 pm (UTC)
Hi, first of all, sorry for my delayed reply.m(_ _)m

> As are many writers. The medium may be different, but the creativity is the same.

I totally agree, and please see my previous comment to dysonrules about my 'sensitive and vulnerable' sentence. It was inconsiderate of me, while I in fact had no intention to single out 'artists' and offend writers.(now I can fully comprehend the feeling of the one who wrote the 'watercolor' comment!)

> Personally, comment count means shit to me. I've posted fics that, looking back, I think are wretched and yet they have more comments than those I think are quite good but went relatively ignored. But I would never let either situation dictate whether or not I keep writing, because that's not why I write.

Sounds very true, because that's the stance I'm in. In my case, I'm really keep drawing as my heart goes, and so any comment received is a gift of pleasant surprise, and it genuinely amused me when the artwork I made in 15 minutes gets far too many comments than the one which took me up three days!^o^ Really, comment count is something which I can't control and thus no use to plagued with, is my opinion.
On the other hand, I understand that comments do motivate some creators greatly and nurture their attachment to the fandom-- especially when the comments are made from the people who they admire as fangirl.(oh yes, I was totally panicked when I got a comment from you for the first time!) So, I don't have a problem with those people who focus on receiving feedback, as much as it drives their creative quality to positive direction.

If I have something to disagree with leochi, it's that, as far as I know, her works on previous H/D fests were well-received by their viewers. It's sad that she came to believe she didn't received sufficient amount of support from the fandom, while IMO, plenty of people were admiring her talent. Or, maybe they took having her in the fandom as too granted.

Now that she left the fandom happily after all, so I'm not going to argue with her about those points. Again, please don't take this matter personal, as I believe that leochi's frustration was not rooted from not receiving a slot in the fest, as dysonrules pointed out. And also, since I've signed up for the pinch-hit, now I'm pretty much willing to do anything to support the fest.(even though I may not be needed, I know.^^)

Once agan, I truly appreciate your comment, and apologize for taking up the mods' time because of my incoherent and inconsiderate remarks. Wishing the best for the fest!!<3
YumeKutteIkt(YuKI): Hiro Mizushima Manip3yumekutteikt on August 31st, 2009 08:33 pm (UTC)
> Given the small number of artists compared to the overwhelming number of writers (I've counted about twenty artists' names, but I can be mistaken, of course), I didn't expect they would be put in the same big group, because it seemed rather imbalanced. The chance of not getting in was far bigger for an artist, that way.

Hmm, I'd rather want to be in the same group mix of writers and artists, if I were among there. I mean, I would have felt horrified if I got some special privilege and pushed out the opportunity of writers just because I do art. So I agree on the mods on that point.

> and personally I think she was very brave to do so, too. :)

Hehe, not really!:-) It's just, I'm still newbie to those exchange-style fest and can't help mouthing all those confusions which came to my mind!^^;

> But I am also truly sorry for the mods - your task is definitely a difficult one because you have to face the masses and you will always have to deal with unhappy people.

Oh definitely! Can you imagine that they got through this exhausting task every year!? I can't help but respect their devotion...
Leochileochi on August 31st, 2009 08:41 pm (UTC)
They are indeed to be admired. :))
YumeKutteIkt(YuKI): h/d fluffyumekutteikt on August 31st, 2009 08:00 pm (UTC)
Hi, first of all, sorry for taking up your time for this matter. I believe I've once written that I can't imagine how much painstaking for the mods just to coordinate the fest and matches all those people, and I still have that in my mind. I apologize for causing some extra trouble to the mods.m(_ _)m

Also, I apologize if it wasn't clear, but what I wanted to say in above entry was the sentense following the part you cited, which is:
So, apparently my impression was wrong, and the hd_holidays mods are doing their business very seriously and squarely.
(Now I edited the entry to make this part in bold letter)

I mean, I now have no doubt about fairness of the lottery and I was genuinely impressed. And while I feel sorry for leochi's not making the spot, I support your choosing the participants by truly random selection among all applicants, giving fair and unbiased opportunity. So please don't mistook me about that point.

The thing is, that no matter how the chances are fair and equal among all the applicants, it still hurts people in individual level. Yes, it's illogical and not the fault of the mods at all. So I sincerely hope you mods stay tough and confident, as I can tell, you made the right choice then and there.

Again, thank you for your informative comment and once again, sorry for taking up your time; I hope the best for the hd_hols fest!:-)
YumeKutteIkt(YuKI): glompyumekutteikt on August 31st, 2009 06:59 pm (UTC)
*squishes back*
I hope you're feeling a bit better!:-)

As for a pic, I'm DYING to get one!!:-D But now, rather *I* am scratching my head for the inspiration of my art to yay_potterkids!^^; Hmm, any good idea??
Leochileochi on August 31st, 2009 07:06 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for asking - I'm feeling perfectly OK. :)))
(I suppose you've seen my PM by now. :))

What about an illustration for this sweet story?
http://rosie-writes.livejournal.com/10094.html
YumeKutteIkt(YuKI): h/dyumekutteikt on September 4th, 2009 05:20 pm (UTC)
Wow, that's a lovely story! I'll think about it!:-)<3
Leochileochi on September 5th, 2009 08:46 pm (UTC)
YAY!
Cheryl Dysondysonrules on August 31st, 2009 06:08 pm (UTC)
This fest is an insane amount of work. Tara, Bry, and I have already spent hours and hours on it and it hasn't even gotten to the vaguely difficult stage yet. I have a full time job, two children, and more stress in my RL than I need. I took on this fest because I love this fandom and I am not asking anything in return. I know this goes against the personal policies of certain people who will only put forth effort if they are assured of getting something in return, be it attention, positive comments, recommendations, or (apparently) guaranteed slots in fests. I write because I love it and that is all the validation I need. I also don't believe that artists should be given preferential treatment because they are "sensitive and vulnerable" , because I know plenty of writers who are just as "sensitive and vulnerable", too. Some days I feel pretty sensitive and vulnerable myself.

I believe we were more than fair in our participant selection process, which was the exact same process followed by the fest in prior years. We have a huge number of first-timers, some of which have never even written (or drawn) HD. Slotting someone a place simply because they unequivocally decided that they were "planning to leave fandom" if they did not get a slot seems extraordinarily wrong. Frankly, pandering to that sort of behavior will only encourage people to do the same thing over and over again. If fifty people whine that they will leave fandom if they don't get a spot, do we say "fuck fairness" and let them ALL in?

Frankly, I've seen several posts of leochi's in which she has claimed she is not loved enough by fandom, does not receive enough comments, etc. etc. etc. I find this to be extremely high-maintenance, self-centered behavior and I am very thankful that she is the only person currently on my f-list to display such ongoing dramatics. I have ignored it up until now, but since it has spurred a personal attack on the mods and the hd_holidays fest itself, I shall be immediately withdrawing my support from anyone and everyone who encourages such wank-provoking antics.

Leochi, I am sorry you feel that you never received whatever it was that you required from the harry/draco fandom. I wish you well in future endeavors and hope you find a properly appreciative place elsewhere.
Leochileochi on August 31st, 2009 08:30 pm (UTC)
Thank you for the last paragraph.

Thank you also for de-friending, by doing so you've made it easier to stomach this comment where you allude to personal things of mine that don't have to do much with HD Hols.

Wish you all the best in your hard organising task.
YumeKutteIkt(YuKI): desized!Dracoyumekutteikt on September 1st, 2009 12:34 am (UTC)
I'm not sure if you want me to but I really want to hug you right now. Seriously, I've never thought that I love you this much until this moment.

And while I wholeheartedly agree with "I write because I love it and that is all the validation I need", which is pretty much my policy as well, I need to tell you that-- now I'm going to be honest-- probably I don't have strong emotional attachment to the fest itself as much as you do; the reason I'm following the fest is because I love the individuals involved-- I love you, taradiane and bryoneybrynn, I love many of the writers and individuals who received the slot, and I love the people who unfortunately didn't. And if the individual in my fandom gets emotional and insecure because of external causes like the fan activities, I can't help myself reaching out, especially when the person has excellent talent which can contribute to the fandom. You may call it pandering, but for me, artistic(including writing) talent is worth to bow down and I'll cling to the possibility if I can persuade the talent to stay in the fandom.(I would do the same if it were you, although I assume that 'if' will unlikely happen.) This time, seemingly she made her decision already, though.

On the other hand, apparently this entry had hurt your feeling, and I'm deeply sorry for that. I have absolutely NO intention to make any personal attack on the mods or the fest, as we all know how you the mods devoted to this painstaking task, and how righteously the selection process were done(see my previous comment). Just vindicating myself, I believe that so far people condoled her yet no one(including myself) told her that the selection was wrong and she should have won. Also, as for "sensitive and vulnerable" sentence, please do not take it personal, as I myself had the very same experience and got too hyped up, which is described in this entry.(or, if I couldn't make it sound as humorous as I've intended, read it as "artists carry very unique and illogical perception".)


Now, speaking of unique and illogical perception of the artists-- this may pique you but somehow by reading your comment I feel like I'm going to sign up for the pinch-hit(while perfectly understanding the possibility that you may not need me). Tell me now if you don't want me to, I understand.
Tarataradiane on September 1st, 2009 02:07 am (UTC)
We don't mind if you sign up - it's open to everyone.
Cheryl Dysondysonrules on September 1st, 2009 03:10 am (UTC)
Thank you for your thoughtful response and I fully understand where you are coming from now. I don't fault you at all for supporting your fandom friends and I realize that leochi was upset by not receiving a part in hd_holidays. It just seems like leochi is always upset and constantly holding fandom up to certain standards that are never being met. I was fed up, but I'm sorry I took it out on your journal. I was having an amazingly bad day when I saw it and it immediately put me into outrage mode.

Actually, I think it would be lovely if you signed up to pinch-hit for the fest. I don't have a bit of animosity toward you (or, frankly, toward leochi) and would like to see more of your work in the future.

You seem very sweet and I want to thank you again for trying to "keep the talent in the fandom" which I admit is a very worthy goal.

*many hugs*


Edited at 2009-09-01 03:11 am (UTC)
YumeKutteIkt(YuKI): h/d fluffyumekutteikt on September 4th, 2009 05:15 pm (UTC)
*hugs back*

Sorry for my delayed reply, and I really appreciate your thoughtful response. As far as I know, you're among the most mentally mature and professional people in the fandom, and I'm so grateful that you took my points correctly(and IMO you got spot-on about where leochi's frustration came from) while I feel so regretful for making such person outraged and hurt. My deep apology again.

> You seem very sweet and I want to thank you again for trying to "keep the talent in the fandom" which I admit is a very worthy goal.

Maybe I'm still novice to the fandom. I know "people always come and go", but still I'm not used to losing talented people who has lots of possibility and leaving for the reason I can't fathom. But in this case, seemingly leochi is leaving the fandom happily, so, much ado about nothing, haha...^^;


Anyway, I owe a lot for you mods, I apologize for taking up your time so much. And if you'd pick me up for the pinch-hitter by any chance, please don't hesitate to put me into heavy labor, I'm prepared for that.:-)